Tried difference names before
Curating myself on a broken mirror
Construct a beautiful being without body
With faces swaps of people from another country
Talking cool shit like I understand it
Wishing a life that could never have it
Ninety percent me the rest just bullshit
Honest-ly – who’d think I’ve done it?
I did!
Thank God, I’m over it!
Just trying to have normal life people living in
Cause I’m sick being weird and called names and thing!


Me vs Anxiety

“Having anxiety and depression is like being scared and tired at the same time. It’s the fear of failure but no urge to be productive. It’s wanting friends but hating having to socialize. It’s wanting to be alone but not wanting to be lonely. It’s caring about everything then caring about nothing. It’s feeling everything at once then feeling paralyzingly numb”- Unknown

30 Days Yoga Challenge during Ramadan 1438 H

I supposed to curse and shout out bunch of complains today, because that’s what I’m planning to throw out on my blog every Monday. Monday madness – as I called it. But, on this special month, it is Ramadan now, 1438 H, so I won’t do it. Cause I’m fasting from doing all the bad stuff I usually did, including cursing, called out some non-humane name or hating on others. So, I will be talking about other stuff that didn’t break my fasting.

Today count as the third day in Ramadan, it starts on Saturday, 27th of May 2017. And I feel a little bit more energized than the last two days. I’m not really sure why, but I think it’s because I do yoga this morning. Yes, as I planned long before I would do another 30 Days of Yoga Challenge on Ramadan as my morning routine. I can not do my HIIT cardio or jogging but can not completely shut down my exercise program either. Since, it only lead to me gain all of those weight back.

When in fasting mode, we’re not eating a lot – maybe some of us did, because of this our body also adapt to the change and slow our metabolism. We may lose a bit of weight at the begining, but soon after our body adapt, if we didn’t exercise that weight will hike faster than we thought. Trust me, I’ve been experience this not only twice or four times. At the end of the holy month, my waist always gain a few inch. It happen.

Back to my 30 Days Yoga Challenge. I supposed to start on May 27 – as Ramadan starts that day, but I only take the action on the evening of the second day cause on the first day I still recovering from my HIIT and thought it will be better if I take another day of from exercise to compensate the changes. That mark the first day of the challenge. And when I’m finish, I feel like there’s a slight energy that kind of make me feel fresh and happy. I don’t know how to describe it, but, man I’m glad I did it. It feel so darn good.

So, this morning, after suhoor I decided that I will continue to take on the second day. I take a cup of coffee, watching some program on tv and give my self an hour rest before I start stretching my body for 24 minutes. Again, I sweat like I’ve been exercise for 30 minutes and I feel more energized. My body feel great. Not even a little dehydration – at least – until now. And I feel more focus. Maybe if I had something to do in this office I’ll do them just fine without complaining. Sadly, there’s not much to do. That’s why I could write this on my blog.

I already know from what I hear and see, that doing workout during fasting is actually good for our body, but never thought it feel this good. I think that it’s just a motivation for some of us lazy peeps to stop winding about how weak our body feels when fasting. I do believe that we should not stop ourself from doing work or any other activity, but working out was never kick my mind. That’s why at first I was so hesitant to do this challenge.

At first, I – maybe some of you too – think that yoga might not as hard as HIIT, running or weightlifting. But that’s the point. Because we need to adjust how we exercise. To meet our strength. To avoid dehydration if we working out in the morning. To lower the intensity so we won’t collapse. So we can maintain our metabolism without hurting ourself in the process. The last two session of my yoga challenge makes me see it. That I can do my workout routine while fasting without worrying about all of that stuff.

Now, I’m planning to my third session this evening to catch up since I bailed on day one. Maybe after a little cardio once office hour is done, but, still not sure how it will turn out. I gotta check the time and if I could do it or not. Mom probably had taken over the telly to watch her favorite tv program. LOL. I have 15 – 20 minutes of walking to do to get home anyway, so maybe I’ll skip the cardio and straight for my yoga session. Hope I could finish my 30 days Yoga Challenge during this Ramadan.

That’s up for today I guess. See you soon on my next amusing post. I need to do a movie review this week cause I miss it last week. Hopefully it will improve my writing skills and all. Ciao!